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Thread: Thoughts You Have Because Everything Is Totally Random

  1. #951
    Some Freakish Man-Shark
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    Great idea for a product: a rocking chair that plays "I Wanna Rock." The baby rocked in that chair would be BADASS. He or she would beat the shit out of the other babies.
    Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless.
    Not to speak is to speak.
    Not to act is to act.

  2. #952
    treedom's Avatar
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    I guess that's a good idea, but it sounds expensive. I'm pretty cheap, so I'll just name him Sue and call it a day.
    disco!

  3. #953
    treedom's Avatar
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    Are vibes a wave or a particle?
    disco!

  4. #954
    darkhorse's Avatar
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    A xylophone on steroids.

  5. #955
    Surprisingly adequate! Mel Ott's Avatar
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    Sam Jackson shilling for Capital One has really adversely affected my opinion of him and retrospectively all his work. It's not fair but it's the truth.
    2017 NFL Loser’s Pool Champion!

    Knowing is not the same as doing.

    “Señor Wilbur, you have to move, too!”

  6. #956
    Factually Unreliable jgross68's Avatar
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    Every time I see "USMNT" it takes me a moment to realize it's not a reference to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
    OTBL Corp. Employee of the Month, August 2009

    There are those who call me... Jim?
    SixPitchers.com |

    :thatshrugsmileyiusesometimes: --> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  7. #957
    What do you do, Vargas? Sixto's Avatar
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    Living life for 44.5 years has brought me around to the belief that the smells of wall paint and cigarettes compliment each other perfectly. But I also realize this is because all professional painters are smokers.
    And it's one more beer and I don't hear you anymore

  8. #958
    I am a F, B, I, Agent LivnLegend's Avatar
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    Nurse K was buying a car for her daughter last night. We were doing that painful, unnecessary, yet necessary according to the dealer, ritual where you sit in a finance guy's office and listen to him to try to up-sell you on crap you don't want. This guy was just awful. No personality and looked like living death. I told him we were in a hurry. Earlier he said he was originally from Chicago so I said, "Let's move through this quickly. I am sure you want to get home and watch your Cubs!" He replied that he was a White Sox fan. Of course he was.

    He kept saying "Just a couple more minutes" and then would launch into a long droning spiel about what the extended warranty covered and how it was a great value. He kept saying "great value" over and over, like some sort of Sales 101 course would teach you so the customer who gets suckered into buying it later tries to convince his snarky friends that it really was a "great value".

    I finally interrupted at some point and said, "Are you a smoker?"
    He stopped and paused for an awfully long 3 or 4 seconds.
    "I'm trying to quit," he said without looking up. Liar.
    Then he looked up at me. "Why?"
    "Your office reeks of stale smoke, Greg," I replied matter of factly.
    He mumbled an apology and said something about the last customers in his office were smokers. Again, liar.
    But the good thing was he wrapped things up really quickly at that point and got us out of there.
    "[LivnLegend is] the modern master of the productivity-killing genre." - Peter Travers of Rolling Stone

    Such ingratitude, after all the times I saved your life.

  9. #959
    treedom's Avatar
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    Was his name even Greg, Harry?
    disco!

  10. #960
    I am a F, B, I, Agent LivnLegend's Avatar
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    You'll go in, he'll be up there, you're down here. Right? He's on top, he's asking you the questions. Then all of a sudden the interview starts, he asks you some questions, you answer some questions...then, you start asking him the questions, and you flip it. Now he's trying to impress you.

    Topsy turvy that motherf****r, you gotta turn that sh!t around


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